Eckie is a soccer player who is ousted from his local team after it’s discovered he’s gay (“She has red pubic hair in the shape of a heart,” Eckie sadly muses, “but I’m not into it.” TMI.) He then forms his own all-gay soccer team and challenges his former teammates to a match so twee it makes Quidditch look like the UFC. German, independent, and featuring a very questionable highly sexualized scene in which a young boy dances in pretzel flour, “Guys & Balls” is softcore social drama at its most.
#SAD GAY MOVIES ON NETFLIX MOVIE#
While the title of the movie Guys & Balls promises at least ten minutes of good dick jokes, the film never fully achieves its anticipated erection. It’s too bad that the filmmakers let Ani Difranco into the story room when she could have just stayed on the soundtrack. She shatters a mirror, recites Shakespeare tragedies, and stabs a guy on his delicate inner thigh with a finely-tuned sword (all of which is pretty gay, Perabo). Yet when the two finally break up, Paulie turns into a literal lesbian predator, seen all too often in films like Notes on a Scandal, Monster, and Basic Instinct. The film perfectly captures the contours of every teenage relationship: the intense and sincere beginning, and the dramatic, longer than the course of the actual relationship, fallout. Lost and Delirious tells the story of a relationship between two boarding-school budding lesbians, Paulie (Perabo) and Tori (Jessica Pare). Yet anyone who sat in the screening and managed to make it past 29:59 minutes must have wondered how they ended up in a tearjerk-off tragedy imagined by the people who brought you “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret” and “So Now You Want To Kill Yourself.” When Lost and Delirious premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2001, expectations were high: the film was one of the few to actually feature gay content, and its star lesbian was played by Piper Perabo, the singer-songwriter-gone-sad-stripper of Coyote Ugly fame. The following list just might scare you straight. But for those of you out there who just came out or are still questioning, please be advised.
#SAD GAY MOVIES ON NETFLIX CRACK#
Bad movies break bad boundaries, cougars cross color lines, and anyone who’s anyone can appreciate a carefully crafted ass crack shot. You absolutely don’t have to identify as gay to enjoy the following list.
Also, the closest Redbox to my house is located outside of an abandoned 7-11, and I’m not about to bust out my Gap Rewards VISA to rent “Walk a Mile in my Pradas,” sans a bulletproof vest. With few exceptions, Netflix dominates the in-home movie market. I don’t know who out there has the executive capacity to actually search, rent, and return a DVD anymore, but if you do, you’re probably not reading this, because you are a genius. Even fewer were willing to examine employment discrimination or the rumored existence of a lesbian Grindr app called “Brenda.” And none, absolutely none at all, were open to exploring the saddest, darkest and loneliest corner of gay life, known as “Netflix: Gay & Lesbian.” Home to such sexy titles as “Drool,” “Cracks,” and “Keep The Lights On,” Netflix Instant proves that justice is just a pinprick on the horizon, and that gays have a long way to go from New Jersey.įor the purposes of this article, I have chosen the top ten worst gay and lesbian films available on Netflix, adhering closely to the following rules:
But few commentators were willing to travel down to some of the darkest depths of gay culture: Bullying. For most of the media, 2013 was a historic year in gay rights: gays can now get married in such award-winning states as Delaware and New Jersey, see their prison sex fantasies come to life on HBO, and write for Sports Illustrated.